Everything happens for a reason

I know that now.  Alhamdulillah. I do not know how to say it in words but I know it now.

It's been a long time. A really long time and so much has happened and I am back here, back to where it was safe 8 years ago. Where it felt safe and blogging kind of saved my life at the time.

I am blessed with so many things I still have in my life. If I knew what I know now, I may have been able to deal with certain things better, but I understand why it had to be how it was.

How I've learned. The pain and anguish of going through a divorce, of looking at your children's eyes and praying I will know what to tell them one day when the question finally comes.

It was hell and back. But it was meant to happen I guess. And I'm still breathing. And that counts. It means that it's okay to hurt and forgive and move on. It is possible, I'm proof of that alhamdulillah.

To you,

Thank you for everything
For the good and the bad
and the life we shared together
I forgive you
And I hope you will forgive me too

Be happy, please
Do what your heart pleases
One day, you will understand
One day, this will be a memory worth having

To you,

Halalkan makan dan minum
This is where we end and we begin
InsyaAllah all will be well
I trust in Him

Ameen.